Body Portals

Somatic sex and intimacy care

Coaching to me means caregiving. I want to co-explore and co-create your most joyfully playful, sexiest erotic self – with deep consent and trauma care through the journey. I am caring through my curiousty about your whole self, your queerness, your sexuality.

I am a sex & intimacy coach with training in somatic pathways to sexual healing and erotic discovery of our bodies. My queer and non-binary identities lend themselves to guiding my clients through long, confusing, & often frustrating journeys of gender, sexual exploration. Being South Asian, I have much too familiar an understanding of religious, social, cultural pressures and taboos around sexuality and gender.

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Care style

Somatics

Our bodies have a lot to teach us and we will move with curiosity about what your body has to teach. I will guide you through learning to listen to your body through practices and tools and language that we co-create specifically for you – and then welcome and hold space for the full spectrum of feelings that come up.

Acceptance, Grief, & Joy Portals

Grief is a portal to our joy. Allowing ourselves to grieve our bodies, our intimacy, our connections, the lost time, all allows us to feel joy for, and aspire towards our desires and dreams for ourselves. And to truly grieve, we must accept what is and was. Being able to practice the cycles of acceptance, grief, and then joy helps bring transformative healing to our bodies. I will guide you through this practice and share tools and my own experiences with it.

Playfulness

A lot of learning and healing comes from curiously and safely experimenting with ourselves and other safe beings. Play is a huge part of how we learn and grow and feel safe in the world. I deeply believe that the opposite of trauma is not calm, but play. I will guide you through relational playfulness with your body, your partner(s), lover(s), friends, and your environment to learn more about what needs our care and attention and work.

Integration & Celebration

As important as the work is, integration and celebration are what help our bodies learn to settle into new norms & neural pathways, and internalize the growth and successes. We will find ways to celebrate that are true to you, and we will find ways to integrate the learnings in connection and experimentation and playfulness.

Neurodivergence care

Being neurodivergent and seeing and being aware of my masks has helped me be more intentional with how I show up in connection. I want to learn and help you discover your own masks so you can exist more authentically in the world.

Deeply consentful

I am deeply consentful in all care I provide. I will ask for consent before I initiate any kind of care, touch, direction, advice, or input. I will ask for consent before I try to relate your story to my own. I will check in frequently about your safety and comfort in the care you are receiving. I describe the boundaries of our sessions in more detail in the FAQs.

Why get coaching & care with me?

My coaching & care style is all about empowering you towards your full erotic self – to expand moments of feeling joy and pleasure and presence in your body through all sexual, sensual, and erotic play. I want to empower you to let your fantasies and desires flow freely through your body. I want to help find pathways to your joy and easefulness in your erotic and relational life. I want to deshamify your pleasure and erotica and see it for what it truly is: one of the many expressions of play.

Feeling present during sex

Sexual and physical trauma is one of the ways our bodies learn to shut down and protect themselves from harm – and that includes shutting down sexual expression and pleasure. It can leave us unable to receive sexual attention, to feel disconnected from our bodies & genitals, or flashbacks of past traumatizing experiences, or even have sexual desires cause immense anxiety in our bodies. These are all somatic presentations of the trauma that lives in our bodies and I will guide you through your body through somatic practices to find exactly where trauma lives in your body and how it shows up in your sex life – and to find ways to have somatic conversations with the hurt to move and heal from it.

Learn your body's yes's and no's

Consent starts with our own bodies – when we force our bodies to engage in ways or with people we are not feeling a “fuck yes” with, our bodies learn to accept our boundaries being crossed. Our bodies’ own pleasure and desires become secondary to whatever we force them to do. Consent is very central to my practice and I will help give your body their voice back and to teach them that they will always be heard and respected and treated with the sacredness that they deserve.

Feel empowered in your sexuality

Shame shows up in lots of ways in our sexual and intimate lives: we shut down during sex, we lose a sense of goodness and pleasure in our bodies, force our bodies into performative sex, keep sexual attention away from our “shameful” bodies, and hide our turn-ons, desires, and pleasure. Our bodies respond to shame-led intimacy by shutting down even more, withdrawing, “getting it over with”, and reducing our sexual desires. Shame, however, can be conversed with somatically – I will work with you to find where and how shame lives in your body, have more compassionate conversations with it, grieve the ways in which we and others have shamed our bodies, and eventually deshamify our bodies and our desires to engage with more pleasure, presence, playfulness, and joy in sex.

Curiosity about your desires

Early on in our sexual and intimate lives, we settle into patterns of what are “normal” and “acceptable” ways to have sex, or date, or flirt. That sets us up for a very muted expression of our desires and wants and needs. We will work together to find curious and self-loving and playful and safe ways to show curiosity for our true wants and needs and desires. Learning to build that curiosity in consentful safe containers with me will help you turn it into a habit that you can employ moment to moment in your full erotic self. We will unlearn the instinct to shut down our desires way before they ever reach our consciousness and replace it with curiosity and playfulness about them.

Communicate needs & desires

A lot of us were never taught how to effectively communicate our desires and fantasies with our lovers & partners, or even to our own selves. We often block and suppress ourselves when we try to describe our fantasies even just to ourselves. Shame and trauma and negative feedback in response to past expressions of needs and desires teach our bodies and nervous systems that our true desires are not welcome. It’s a skill that I would love to help you develop and exercise to empower you to feel confident and sexy and authentic and powerful when you express them.

Joy and ease in non-monogamy

Non-monogamy can feel immensely challenging for so many reasons. Diverse relationship styles challenge us and require a lot of growth and learning to continue to succeed and find joy in. That doesn’t mean we can’t engage in ethical non-monogamy while we are learning. We can move at a pace that feels right for our nervous system, our experiences with it, our preferred styles, and what feels safe for us and our partner(s). I have been non-monogamous for over 9 years and have a lot of personal experience with it. I can support you in your non-monogamy journey and navigating the complexity and rapid growth that we might find ourselves in.

Kink & BDSM with care

I think kink & BDSM are some of the sweetest most curious childlike play we could participate in. We can learn the skills needed to play in a way that feels true to us: curiosity, consent, safety, risk awareness, and lots of communication. We often also have a big need for our kinks to be seen and deshamified, first by our own selves, and also by the people we play with. Being submissive and being dominant are both states we can access when we feel our needs are heard and understood by our play partner(s). I have over a decade of experience in my personal life and as a pro-dommex, kink performer, and educator, and I can hold and teach and help you find your true essence through exploring your kinky parts.

Care bundles

Here are some of the care bundles I think are helpful and healing depending on what care you are needing. All care is bundled for your needs and I am always flexible to finding what works for the both of us.

Bite sized

For the self-driven, initial direction seeking babes. This initial session will help you stay directed and focused in your self-driven exploration and growth.

$240
2 hours
A free initial 30 minute consult and a ~2 hour care & coaching session

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Partner care

For partners/couples/lovers/sweeties. These care sessions would (mostly) be group sessions where I work with you and your sweetie(s). We will all work through care needs as they come up and move through them together experientially to bring y'all closer and deeper in connection with each other.

$200/hour
> 2 hours
A free initial 30 minute consult and a ~1-2 hour care & coaching sessions after

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Longevity care

This is for ongoing care where I work with you at a cadence that feels right for both of us, usually weekly or bi-weekly. We will build on previous sessions and orient towards long-term intentions and goals and healing.

$120/hour
> 8 hours
A free initial 30 minute consult and a ~1-2 hour care & coaching session after

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Testimonials

Tauqir’s presence creates a place of safety and ease of vulnerability for others, and this was apparent to me the first time we met. Sitting quietly on a bench on a hiking trail, I felt comforted and vulnerable at the same time. Their presence can hold heaviness or playfulness or any kind of feeling that comes up. A welcoming presence where my body felt able to shed some tears and be in the moment.

– A dear friend